I am at a loss. Everything in me wants to fellowship with other people, but nothing in me wants to go to a church. I am not against churches however, it is just that I cannot continue to perform this ritual. It is empty and lifeless to me. The people in the church give the place life and help me through each service, and it is wonderful chatting with them afterwards, but why do I have to endure the service so that I can enjoy this? Am I such a "bad Christian" for talking like this? No. I am simply one that seeks God and wants life in each meeting. A place where people can grow, and where they can share. This does not mean homegroups to me either. Most of the homegroups that I have attended have simply been "mini-church" based in the home. There has been as little life in these as there is in the big church. So what is the answer? How I desire to know this too. Every time I read the Bible I search for something that will help me to find this answer, something that will give me a clue to this. My desire is to find something that brings about lasting change. Many people that have been "saved" have only said the magic words and there seems to be no lasting change. Unfortunately I have been a first-hand witness to this process and even championed it at one point. Discipleship seems to be a forgotten responsibility. Repentance and baptism too seem to have faded over the years and yet these were the very things, in fact the only things, that Jesus and the disciples commanded people to do to be saved. So where is the life, the lasting change? In the Word, all I can find is that people lived what they wrote about. People honoured their father and mother, they visited the sick and those in jail, they pooled their resources to help the widows and the orphans, and they came together to fellowship and encourage each other. So does this mean we start a new missions movement to start caring for and visiting these people? No, most definitely not. Since when should we delegate responsibility yet again to those few who are willing? What change needs to take place in our lives so that we too become the willing. After travelling through a number of countries recently I am shocked at how people can line up for an hour to enter a church and pack it full to hear God's Word spoken, and then as they leave the building, ignore people begging by the entrance, and step over homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk less than one block away. This should not be! All of these things converge to the point that says we need a new wineskin. The guests at the wedding will get the best wine last, and it is not found in our conventional churches. I seek to find followers of Christ who are passionate and motivated, who encourage and disciple others as they too are encouraged and discipled. Times of gathering where each person can share, question, and learn. How different this would be. How wonderful. This is the "church" that I want to attend. Unrealistic? It depends on your perspective. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible". Why would this not be if we were all passionate about Christ and the absolutes of the Bible? I believe the time for change has come. We need change, and I for one am willing to do what it takes to see this become reality.